RE-Juicing the Common Ground ~ Personal Growth by Rowan Duczek
I am committed to the expansion of human consciousness and my own personal growth. I endeavour to recognise and change personal attitudes and behaviour patterns that are limiting.
Yes, I am committed to the expansion of human consciousness, but I can only make sense of it through direct, personal experience. So, following is an anecdote from my life.
When moving to Forres with my then teenage children, I rented a house situated between those of two elderly couples. One had a lovely, cared for garden, the other a ‘concrete jungle’. With the ‘gardeners’ relations were and remain amicable, with the other, they became more and more acrimonious. Especially, when my children were accused of nasty and unsociable behaviour; supposedly caught on video by the camera visibly installed in my neighbour’s upstairs window. Anyone daring to accuse my kids unjustly, and I turn into the proverbial Tiger- Mama, so we ‘had words’ on a number of occasions.
Over time, we came to regard our ‘concrete neighbour’ as the’ Bogey-Man-Personified’, and he performed that role to perfection! We tried to avoid him as much as possible, and whenever our path did cross, a curt nod was all I was prepared to give. The situation escalated two years ago, when my daughter, now 23, was away all summer doing festival work.
On a number of occasions my neighbour came uninvited into my garden with accusations ever more bizarre. The situation became so unpleasant, that I decided to make a report to the police. It was only afterwards, that the thought hit me, THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY. (yes, I have read the Course in Miracles). So, I made the conscious decision to radically alter my behaviour. From then on, I made a point of having a wee natter when taking out the bins, and stopping the lawn mower to have a chat about the weather, rather than immediately retreating into the house, as I had done formerly. This behaviour change led eventually to an ‘inner attitude change’ and the effect on our relationship was nothing less than dramatic.
When he and his wife finally sold their house earlier this year, it felt natural to give them both a heartfelt hug, saying I would miss them, and truth be told, so I did! The important realisation for me is, that the very first step towards Personal Growth involves the courage to admit to myself that I have a limiting perspective, thereby providing the perfect ‘straight jacket’ for my supposed enemy. If I am not prepared to have a radical look at myself, no growth is possible. I am happy to say that my new neighbours are busy transforming the former ‘concrete jungle’ into a mass of flowers.